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Divorce and your children: Don’t say these things

As you prepare for divorce, it's important to take steps to protect your children. This will be a difficult time for them, but there are things you can do to ease their pain and help them establish a new normal.

Even though you have the best intentions, it's easy to let the wrong thing slip when discussing divorce with your children. Here are some things you never want to say:

  • It was your mother's or father's fault: No matter how strongly you feel about this, don't place the blame on your spouse. Telling your children this will only complicate things, as it may push them away from their other parent.
  • Things will be bad for a while: Even though circumstances are changing, be careful of how you address this with your children. Telling them that things will be bad can be taken in a number of ways. You want to reassure them, not give them any additional reasons to worry.
  • You won't get to see me as much in the future: Even though your living circumstances are changing, there are steps you can take to ensure that both you and your ex get to spend time with your children. Things will be different, but you can still spend a lot of time together.

Your goal is to ensure that your children are taken care of before, during and after the divorce process comes to a close. When you take this approach, it'll help you clear your mind as to focus on other important details, such as protecting your legal rights and preparing yourself for the future.

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