No one starts the process of getting married with much of a thought to the process of getting divorced. But divorce is always likely enough to consider because the consequences of ignoring it are grave. Some lawyers recommend a prenuptial agreement to help guide expectations in that case, although some also have reservations about recommending it.
Maybe something big happened at once, or maybe it feels like it's been happening for years. Either way, it's hard to see the future when you're going through a separation. The lawyers may already be hashing out who gets the house and where the kids will live, but even if a lot of the work falls on you, you owe it to yourself to stay calm and keep control of your life.
The institution of marriage has changed a little over the centuries, but not as much as the implications and methods of divorce. As the rate of marriages ending before death rose above half in the United States, more types of people could file for divorce and expect to rebuild their lives afterward. In some jurisdictions, it is getting even easier.
It's hard to get divorced even before splitting homes, cash, child custody and other assets and responsibilities. But some shared things can be more complicated to split. One of the most complicated assets to manage or split is an individual retirement account (IRA), due to the tax implications involved.
Few parents find it easy to discipline their children. But problems of moody teenagers and setting reasonable curfews can be compounded when parents are not on the same side.
It's often hard to know where to start when someone is separating from their spouse. Any children of a marriage are the natural first priority, as their futures are precious and they have no fault in a divorce. Property and assets are often the next issues and then there is the natural emotional effect of the end of a relationship.
Getting divorced is very personal. You may not feel all that comfortable discussing it with your boss. Do you need to do it?
When you identify relationship issues early on in your time as a couple, you may assume they'll only get better. Some couples even get married, figuring they'll work things out as they go. Unfortunately, the reality is that some issues only tend to get worse, and they can lead to divorce. A few examples include:
When most couples get divorced, that's the end of their time together. Yes, they still see each other when they exchange the kids in accordance with the custody plan, but they move on. They get new homes. They date new people. Life moves forward.
Your children need to come first if you get a divorce. They are not pawns. They should never be used during any emotional power struggles between you and your ex.